I am excited to go back home for summer but anxious. I am going to be instantly busy when I get back with going through our storage unit, doing community service for a scholarship and working. My relationship with my sister isn’t the best and she moved back in and last time I went home it didn’t feel like the same home, I felt like a visitor. I am excited to be with my mom and my cat again but I am worried. I am going to be apart from the boy and I am going to really fucking miss him. He has been the best since we got back together. He can see me whenever he wants which is nice but his grandparents hate me and threatened him with stopping the payment of his tuition the last time when we were spending too much time together. I have less than a week here and am really sad. Next year I am going to be a senior and I am terrified.
One of my littles (a boy who’s in a frat) called me a goth whale and my boyfriend stood up for me. I found out about this tonight. I have been crying. I already have low self esteem and I have grown up with people calling me names especially about my weight. It’s the main reason why I cut. I am just so mad that someone I care about would say that about me and be nice to me to my face.